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Day 1.
I can't remember. I lost Thursday.

Day 2.
Walk miles in the cold. Meet people. Buy an eighth. Smoke. Walk more. Smoke more.

Day 3.
Bitten, beaten, burnt.

"You fuck well. You're an experienced whore, aren't you?'

I traded in my heart to buy my soul back from the Devil. A heart is easy to fake, but without a soul, you are nothing.

Summarised.

I am a vapid and despicable creature. My life is meaningless. And nobody likes me.

I also start too many sentences with 'and', even though it is grammatically incorrect to do so.

More Sex

A couple of days ago, I blogged about my solitary nun-like existence.

Now I seem to have fallen down a very odd nymphomaniac rabbithole. Why does so much weird shit happen to me?

A strange life

Well I got my inspiration and imagination back, so I have ideas to work on again. I also got my magical je ne sais quoi back. And this morning it snowed.
While I was having a shower and getting ready, somebody who shall not be named went through my underwear drawer. I wonder if he stole anything...
I went to Belper, and the bus driver gave me half fare, even though I didn't even pretend to be young enough. And who should be on the bus, but a guy who was in the psych ward with me? I paid in my 'too mental to get a job' money at the bank, so possibly, soon, I will not be skint! Indeed, I will be rich enough to afford some clothes and fun things. Oh, and Christmas presents. I'm not just thinking of myself, honest.
And now, time to carry on drawing my map on a giant piece of paper. Oh, I have such a fun life.

Coincidence Happens to Sluts Too

While I was writing Sex, I got a random MSN message. And who should it be, but my kinky sex buddy from the past? How very convenient...

Sex

I realised that this blog is shockingly low on sex. This may be a reflection of my solitary, nun-like existence, but even when I am getting all sorts of crazy action, it just never appears on here. Blogging about your own sex life is too undeniably sordid. However, if you are attractive and upper class, it can lead to a lucrative book deal, a la Catherine M. and Girl With a One Track Mind. But seeing as I am neither of those things, I may exercise some self-censorship.
Yes, society's attitudes to sex are stupid, hypocritical, etc. etc. I really can not be bothered to go in to those arguments, go read some feminist literature or something if you really want to hear it.
What I am actually thinking about is how sex is essential for life; continuation of all human life, and fulfillment on a personal level, all come down to having a good fuck.
Unfortunately, being humans, we've managed to turn this fact of life into a hugely complex song and dance routine. See, this rather odd post was inspired by my thinking about how to get laid. Yes, I may not blog about sex, but I do think about it way too much sometimes. Seeing as I have decided to stay well away from relationships, then my options are:

1. The slut way. Dress up, go out, dance dirty, and wake up in an unfamiliar bed.
   
2. The find a sex buddy way. Although friends with benefits is never as simple as it seems.
3. The solo way. Because I am better than you.
4. The highly improbable become a high-class call girl and get paid for it like Belle De Jour way.
   

I'm sure I've missed out some other options, mostly because they're rubbish. Now, I want to delete this post to keep my blog sex free. But hey, sex sells, right? Maybe I'll get that book deal after all...