I am a businesswoman

Because I have business cards. They advertise my services as a "writer and sexual performance artist". I am not sure how sober I was when I ordered them on a special free trial offer. 

Anyway, they arrived today, and Maddy took some. She gave them to some people, and then I got a call. I have succesfully self-promoted! Details of this call are to be kept secret for the time being, but if anything comes of it, then I will most definitely be writing about the results. I'll only say that the 'writer' part of my job description is not in very much demand. 

A fabulous career beckons...

(a spot in the gutter awaits)