Health

According to the medical model accepted by mainstream Western society, health is the absence of a diagnosable disease; however, good health is not the same as optimal health. Optimal health refers to being in peak physical, emotional, intellectual, social, and spiritual form, which is fostered through the regular practice of life-enhancing habits, including regular exercise, eating nutritious foods, avoiding tobacco and excess alcohol, managing stress, enhancing social networks, pursuing of a spiritual path, and achieving a sense of fulfillment in intellectual and occupational vocations.

(This text shamelessly stolen from Mary Hartley RD, on caloriecount.about.com)

I just felt that this was relevant, because it is nearly the New Year, and I hope to become truly healthy in 2010. Yes, it is resolution time. I read back over last year's resolutions and wow, I used to be a good writer. 2009 really was sink or swim, and what do you know, I managed to swim my ass right outta town. 2010 is a whole new decade, a whole new phase of my life. I'm a real adult now.

I need to avoid putting so many high expectations on myself that I end up crashing and burning and giving up. Health, creativity and spirituality (yeah, I'm a hippy, go fuck yourself) are my selfish goals.

Being a good little kitten for Owner is the other main plan. For mine and his benefit. I love him, and I want to make him happy, and if that means being slightly less of an insufferably selfish brat-creature, then so be it. A little less selfishness will probably help with every part of life.

Strongbow tastes better with piss in it.

I do not like Strongbow. Nor do I like James.

Last night we had one of our infamous drunken gatherings, where for some reason, much manly wrestling occured. Michael and Andy drew as the strongest, and James was the weakest. I beat him. Even though he pulled my hair. Yes, me, the patheticest piece of low muscle mass to ever walk the planet, beat somebody at a thing involving strength.
Anyway, for some other reason that probably seemed really good at the time, the boys got the floggers out for some kinky fun to manfully test their pain thresholds. At this point, I finished my bottle of wine and Mike gave me a can of cider. After I had drunk it, James decided to finally own up that he had pissed in the can to try and get Mike.

It was at this point that I threw up. In the bathroom, I hasten to add. I don't go round puking in public, whatever the provocation. James' prank seriously backfired on him. His hot girlfriend, and everyone else in the room, suddenly hated him. After much arguing, I decided to hide upstairs, and the arguing continued for a while longer. Eventually it was decided that he should take lashes. It was supposed to be 20 from a ten tailed rubber flogger, but this was cut down to 15 due to pussyness. His back was livid, bright bruises and even a little blood. And then him and Dan continued to argue for a long long while, as his girlfriend got bored and got a taxi home. He did not even notice. I assume he is today suffering the pain of an angry woman. Women are possibly the worst thing to ever have angry at you. With the possible exception of sharks, but lucky for us sharks are cold-blooded fishmonsters incapable of emotion.

Anyway, everyone was angry and moaning and so we decided to go to bed. This was a good move. All the drama had made me kinda sulky. And me being in a bad mood while drunk rarely ends well. Luckily tonight it ended ok. We snuggled up, all drunk and giggly, and watched Red Dwarf and ate cheese. So everything turned out ok in the end. It usually does.

Sod you, Sod and your stupid sodding Law

As soon as I got back to blogging, my laptop died. Lucky for me, being an unbearable middle-class brat, my parents bought me a new one. I'm just having to wait for it to be delivered, as it gets posted first to their house and then sent down here for me.
Having no laptop made me realise how much I need the internet. The entire modern world is based online. Right now I'm using a borrowed laptop because Zoe was lovely enough to let me use hers while she's at work. Now I must try to cram two weeks worth of internet into this day.