Tuesday 14 October 2008

Realisations and Morbid Musings

Yes, it's that time of the night again, when one's thoughts turn towards death. For some reason, I am trying to predict how I'm going to die. Because I'm a fucking cheerful person, obviously.

You see, tonight I realised that I'm probably not going to kill myself before I reach twenty. All well and good, but that actually creates more anxieties and obligations than I have ever had before. For example, when I thought I was in for imminent death, then one more cigarette really made no difference. Now, I'm damaging my health in the long term. I have a long term future, and that is fucking terrifying.

As for how I'm going to die, I really am not sure. Probably accidental death, misadventure, or a narrative verdict.

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