Ever been somewhere you really weren't supposed to go? Where you walk around, fear in the pit of your stomach, because you know that at any point, you could be found out, denounced as a tresspasser and banished?
I feel like that. For the past two days, I've been living in constant fear of something. Not sure what though.
I want out. And that scares me even more. Am I going to throw everything away and just give up?
I don't even know what I want anymore. What to do?
I want to hurt. But I can't. I can't do that to the people I love. This sucks. Its about the two year anniversary of the first time I ended up in hospital with an OD. It was the only time I've truly felt like I was dying. And I wish I could go back there. Everything is simpler when you're on the edge.
Falling apart. Can't read, can't write, can't communicate, can't work. Food tastes funny and my body aches and I'm so tired. I really don't know what to do. I can feel everything going wrong but what can I do about it? I've tried everything. I'm running out of places to run.
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Imbeciles!
You're reading this, so you must have too much time on your hands. It's just my lame attempts to communicate with the world, or myself. What I'm trying to communicate, I ain't so sure...
All resemblance to any people, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
All resemblance to any people, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Lilly Scabette
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1 comment:
I think you should think about yourself.
Where you could get in life.
Think about the people who love you and are there for you.
And how you need to stay strong. Not just for them, but for yourself.
Then when your better, when you get your head above water, you can take a breath and look back and see how low you dived. But then dry yourself off and go to the chippy.
This comment meaning to tell you that you need to look up. Man up, has turned into a day out at the pool with chips. But hey. I like chips.
You'll be fine pip.
Love you x
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