An Academic Education

Well, I'm supposed to be writing an essay right now, hence the blogging. It is not going well. It is on a subject I don't care about, for a course I'm getting bored of, which doesn't even count towards my final degree classification. Still, it would be humiliating if I failed. And more importantly, I need to learn how to write decently, without relying on the panic-induced essay trance which normally happens.
I don't know if I'm clever or stupid. I was clever at school and got good grades, but maths is beyond me, and I'm currently struggling to write 1200 words on a simple topic which I have just studied. Possibly I did used to be intelligent, but lack of use and too much messing with it have left my brain withered and shrunken. Maybe I was always a bit daft and people were just humouring me when they said I was clever. Or maybe I am too intelligent for such mundane tasks as essays, and my brain is more suited to writing philosophical treatises and creating fabulous and revolutionary theories.

Ok maybe not that last one.

Possibly I will settle for being average or slightly above average intelligence, but with severe problems with motivation and application. Even when I want it to do stuff, most of my brain just can't be bothered. Its my brain, it should do as I say, but obviously not. Stupid lump of junk. At least it burns 25% of calories consumed, so is doing its bit to stop me from getting fatter.

Maybe that is why stupid people and fat people are generally considered the same. Stupid people think less, and so burn less calories, and so are statistically more likely to be fat. Yes, another theory which sounds good, but is utterly unscientific. If thinking made you thin, then I would be a skinny rake. Although maybe it is what lets me eat like an utter pig and not become morbidly obese. Yes, people, become neurotic! Fret constantly! Pause only to think up crackpot theories! It helps you lose weight!