Saturday 27 December 2008

Back Home

Where things will slowly return to normal. Life will no longer be a never-ending round of wine and chocolate. There will be no relatives to appease, no cats, and plenty of free time and free space. Having not had my own space, or been able to dictate my own actions, for the past four days, it feels good to be autonomous and alone again.
I keep thinking about stuff. About everything. Way too much deep thought. Possibly as a consequence of way too much alcohol.
Oh, and I think I stayed in a haunted room the past two nights. The back attic bedroom of a 16th century inn. Freezing cold, and undeniably creepy, especially after a glass or five of wine. The moving light circle in the morning still defies explanation, and I am not one for ghosts. I think I am the least psychic person ever made, but still I felt something, a residual energy, something lost and confused. As with every new thing I encounter, my first instinct was to figure out whether it was a threat or not. I couldn't work it out. It didn't hurt me, but then, how could a faint trace of energy hurt anything? It was its intentions which bothered me. I couldn't figure them out, couldn't even figure out if it knew wht it was doing, what it wanted.
Then in the drawer of the bedside cabinet, as I was packing to go home this morning, I found a book on the teachings of Buddha. Pretty cool stuff there. I might look into this a bit more. I was going to steal the book, but that would kind of nullify any spiritual enlightnment I might obtain from it. I am not becoming a Buddhist. Subscribing to any specified religion seems a kind of spiritual and intellectual laziness. I shall figure this world out for myself, not swallow the rote learnings of others. Still, I can learn from everything, especially a Buddha.
Now, returning to this earthly plane, I really need to tidy up. I went shopping this afternoon, getting dropped off in Derby when the rest of the family went straight home. I managed to spend way too much money, as usual, on useless crap. Although it is incredibly cool crap. And maybe slightly useful. Ziggy Stardust calender, pink zebra-print skirt, hoodie, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, paintbrush cleaner. Yes, all cool stuff. Shame that it, and everything I got for Xmas, and everything I took with me for the past 4 days, and everything else I own, appears to be either on my bed or on my floor, with just a moderate stack of paper covering my desk.
Well, back to cleaning, drinking, and thinking.
I don't like thinking. That's what the drink is for, a preventative measure against excessive thought. Hopefully it will work...
Now back to

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