Lost

I feel lost and lacking. I am missing something, waiting for something. Something important, but I don't know what. I'm tired. So tired that I spent Saturday night at home watching crappy films, instead of out in the cold getting wrecked. I'm fed up of the cold. It makes going outside an endurance ordeal. I think I'll hibernate.

I wish somebody would tell me what I'm missing. Why this creeping sense of unease, something hovering on the edge of the psyche, out of sight. I don't even know what I'm on about. Just type, and eventually something will make sense. I hope.

I feel less tangible than usual. Not here. Not real. Maybe that's what I've lost: reality. Or contact with said substance. I wish there were people. I wish I lived in a big house with all my friends and their friends and any other random cool people. Then there would always be someone around, and it would be awesome, and I would not sit like a sad little techgnome, seperated by miles from everybody I might want to see. Why do I have to live all the way over here? And why, in my mind, am I a million miles away from everybody else, in a little dark corner by myself?

And why am I asking stupid questions, which I can't answer, on a blog that nobody reads, and expecting the fairy netmother to appear and give me the meaning of life via an anonymous comment?