A Report On The Series of Events Which Comprised my Day

At 1pm, on Wednesday 19th November, I was awoken by my friend Grace's sudden appearance in my bedroom. I got out of bed, and we both agreed that my pyjamas were awesome. Zebra print trousers, yeah? So she went downstairs, I got dressed, and got a cup of coffee, and we sat and did crossword puzzles. When we had completed all of the puzzles we could, and I had finished my coffee, I went to clean my teeth and fetch my handbag, and then we walked to Tesco, where Grace bought sirloin steak and Finest* Light Coleslaw and I bought a Finest* Belgian chocolate cake and a bottle of wine. We walked home, taking a nice route which led us on a little track by some pretty stone houses. When we reached home, we washed our hands, and Grace set about cutting the steak in half so we could each have a piece. She decided to cut it in half flatways, making two thin steaks instead of one thick one. Or at least, that was the aim; we actually got one thin steak and one selection of butchered beef slices. So we cooked the steak, nice and rare, and in the process, a large glob of sizzling oil leapt from the frying pan and landed right on the end of my nose! Man, that stung. Eventually, we sat down to our nice meal. It was delicious, and by the time we got to dessert, we were both rather tipsy and playing notes on a wineglass. At this moment, the doorbell rang, and it was the postman with a parcel for me to sign for. Inside this innocuous white parcel, were two bottles of Benylin non-drowsy dry cough medicine. Now I decided that it was a good idea for me to get high. I ran and fetched my half dose of Hawaiian Baby Woodrose seeds. I washed down the seeds with wine and slugs of cough syrup, obscuring their bitter taste with the sumptuous flavour of chocolate cake. Before long I was dancing around to the Beatles' Strawberry Fields Forever. Soon, my mum got home from work and quickly figured that I was 'drunk'. Grace's mum drove up in her minibus and agreed to give me a lift to Belper to go see Alex and Jess. I never actually got to see those two people.
Left in Belper, I went to the shop for cigarettes before heading to King Street. And there, I found Maddy, a shocked girl with her little finger hanging at a right angle to her hand. It was so broken. I offered to go with her to Ripley A&E but she decided against that, so instead we went to Morrisons and I bought her some tape. She taped up her fingers, and later had some fun playing with a reel of surgical tape. Right now we walked up Belper, smoking. We eventually met Ozzy, Jake and Beardy, among other people, and we stood around outside the Memorial Gardens trying to find out who in Belper had any weed. I seemed to be the only person in the group with any credit, so this ringing round of every known dealer was mostly done on my phone. After getting no luck, we drifted up to the Market Place and the Local shop. Outside here, we collected a bigger selection of people: Dan, Collyer, Christian Swann, Ezra, Jonathon, Dukes, Archie, and more people whose names I don't know. We were all looking proper shady, standing around on the Marketplace and trying to sort out some weed. We were there for about two hours before something was tracked down in Derby, and I got into a car with Maddy and other people, and went to Derby. We drove around Derby until we found Normanton. There, we realised that there was no space in the car for the dealer to sit and sort our stuff out. So I moved from the middle seat to the boot. I lay back, smoking a fag which somebody had generously provided, and felt beautifully cozy and relaxed. After a length of time, driving around and general waiting about, the always-delicate 'take the chick out of the car boot' procedure was performed, and I was back in place in the middle of the back seat. So spliff was smoked, and once we got back to Belper and got a scales, amounts were weighed out and distributed amongst the crowds.
We stayed in the car, chatting life and politics. Maddy is incredibly cool, and one of her brothers is awesomely wise. We had some great conversation. Oh, and one of the guys was a proud, out and out racist, so we had some nice political debate there. I've realised that racists are not inherently bad people. They don't hate me personally, and indeed, this guy was a perfect gentleman. He acted with so much honour, of a sort which I thought had died out long ago.
Once we were nicely stoned, we went into Maddy's house and got ice cream. With cream on it. During this time I was texting Beardy, and sorted out that, once we had chilled for a while, then we would meet them at the triangle. This blog entry is becomong like a novel, and as we went into Maddy's room, I demanded a pencil and paper, which were eventually found for me.