Typical Night

Go out, go to the shop, buy a packet of fags and a 200ml bottle of the cheapest vodka going. Go to someone's house, smoke a couple of spliffs, have a few drinks, listen to Chemicl Brothers remixes and cheap electro, watch Family Guy, leave. Keep the shop workers company for a while, meet a couple of people, walk through town to a street, wait on the corner while some guy visits a dealer's house. Decide to go, sit on a bench pouring vodka into coke as police cruise by. Eat sweeties, drink. Walk. Friend's house. Eat leftover pizza, drink tea. Demand the return of my jeans. Get them, thank god. Get a phonecall, leave. Somoeone is walking home my way. Company is always good. Walk. Meet the guy, walk more, swigging vodka and coke, smoking. Compain about this town, the people in it. Find a traffic cone in a skip, steal it. Abandon it because those things are actually quite heavy. Make escape plans. Property development, university, mad get-rich-quick schemes. As rain starts to fall, light cigarettes from other cigarettes in a chain-smoking double act. Reach the conclusion that this town is shit. Every day, we figure out the same thing.

All the people here are bored. And instead of fixing things, creating something to do, they go out and get wasted. You're never more than ten minutes from a drug deal here, thirty on a really bad day. There are no jobs going, just people getting drunk, day in, day out. Nothing better to do. The world outside is nothing. The world inside, creativity, ambition, has long since died. All we have are our mad stoner schemes and drunken dreams. Everyone here is just a kid, grabbing at the nearest entertainment, the easiest relief from the mind-numbing tedium of living, and hang the consequences. Hang our brains and hang our livers, hang the fact that intelligent and loving human beings are rotting away here, dissolving into the acrid scum of small town wreckhead life.

Yes, I am feeling bitter. I know members of Mensa, musical geniuses, artistic talents, people who in another life would be out there right now, at university, in an apprenticeship, learning, living, experiencing the world, and all they do, like everyone else here, is sit around, play Xbox, smoke weed and occasionally bitch about the world. Hell, I may have just partially described myself, but at least I'm taking some courses, and will leave this town someday. I am considered an oddity and an outsider for this. I want more than a dead end retail job and a shitty rented flat. I want more than a bottle of vodka and some pills for the weekend. I think secretly, everyone does. But they don't dare to try, because they know it's too hard, it won't happen. Maybe I'm the stupid one here.